Fauci Doesn’t Want to Bring America Off the Bench, Trevor Noah Says

Fauci Doesn’t Want to Bring America Off the Bench, Trevor Noah Says

Fauci Doesn’t Want to Bring America Off the Bench, Trevor Noah Says

Fauci Doesn’t Want to Bring America Off the Bench, Trevor Noah Says

“Because of Trump’s antics, he keeps having to come up with new ways to say, please stay inside, or you might die. Basically, what Dr. Fauci is saying is that we need to think of corona like a sports injury. Yes, you want to get back on the field as soon as possible, but if you get back on the field too soon, you could get injured. You could get injured again, and even worse this time, and then what? Then your career is over, huh? And now you’re just a gym teacher telling fifth-graders about how you could have gone pro.” — TREVOR NOAH

“No need to sugarcoat it, doc. Although, sugarcoating is a good way to get Trump’s attention. It’s what Eric does. It gets pretty sticky.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Fauci told The New York Times yesterday that re-reopening the country too soon could lead to ‘needless suffering and death,’ which I think is Trump’s new campaign slogan.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“Thanks to President Trump there is a divide among party lines about whether or not we should be staying at home, which is silly because viruses don’t care who you vote for. So I’m going to try to summarize what Dr. Fauci said today with a metaphor. Think of this lockdown as a scab — a big, black scab on our nation’s face. It’s not pretty. In fact, it’s ugly, it’s awful, but it’s doing an important job. It’s healing and containing the wound. The best thing you can do with a scab is be patient and let it fall off. Unfortunately, there are some impatient people who want to dig their tiny, orange fingernails into the scab and rip it off early and eat it. And while that would feel good for like a second if you rip off the scab and the wound is still bleeding under there — you have to start all over again with a new scab. So what Dr. Fauci is saying is the same thing your mother said: ‘Don’t pick the scab.’” — JIMMY KIMMEL


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