Cara Delevingne reveals that coming to terms with her sexuality made her feel ‘suicidal’

Cara Delevingne reveals that coming to terms with her sexuality made her feel ‘suicidal’

Cara Delevingne reveals that coming to terms with her sexuality made her feel ‘suicidal’

Cara Delevingne reveals that coming to terms with her sexuality made her feel ‘suicidal’

Model Cara Delevingne has revealed that coming to terms with her sexuality made her feel suicidal, but that it is now a part of herself that she “loves”.

The 28-year-old, who identifies has pansexual and has reportedly dated Pretty Little Liars actor Ashley Benson as well as musician St Vincent, told actor Gwyneth Paltrow’s wellness ‘Goop’ podcast, that she suffered from a “massive depression” when it came to accepting her sexuality and still occasionally wishes she “could just be straight”.

People who identify as pansexual are not limited in their attraction by gender identity or biological sex.

Ms Delevingne said that grew up in an “old fashioned household”, referring to her aristocratic but troubled family.

Model Cara Delevingne, pictured arriving at Windsor for Princess Eugenie’s wedding, said she struggled to come out in an “old fashioned” family

The actor who starred in 2015’s Paper Towns, added: “I didn’t know anyone who was gay. I didn’t know that was a thing and actually I think growing up I was quite not noticeably, I wasn’t knowledgeable of the fact I was homophobic.

“The idea of being same sex [partners], I was disgusted by that, in myself. I was like, ‘Oh my God, I would never, that’s disgusting, ugh’.”

The model, who first signed with Storm Management in 2009 and won model of the year at The British Fashion Awards in 2012 and 2014, said she connected her depression and “the suicidal moments of my life” to her sexuality struggles “because I was so ashamed”.

She added: “There is still a part of me where I’m like, ‘Oh, I wish I could just be straight’. There is still that side to it. It is really complicated. But actually that was the part of me that I [now] love so much and accept”.

The model went on to discuss her own modelling career and how she found a more androgynous style.

“I was so unhappy and I wasn’t following my truth, especially in terms of being a model”, she said.

“That whole thing of having to fit into the box – I’m an androgynous person. I love being a woman and dressing up and doing all that, but I also love being a rough and tumble ‘man’. I feel so much more comfortable in the fluidity of what it is to be just a human and to be an animal, almost, because that’s what we are. To trust in your own instincts.”

In the press release she said: “I can only imagine what having a series like this would have meant to the 14-year-old me who struggled to understand feelings that were seen as non-conventional or different. If our series helps one young person have an easier conversation with their parents, we will have achieved one of our many goals in making this series.”

If you or someone you know has been affected by the issues discussed in this article, you can contact Samaritans by calling 116 123 in the UK, emailing jo@samaritans.org or visiting their website.

In the US, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline for free and confidential support at 1-800-273-8255. You can also chat with a counselor online.


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